And all at a fraction of the cost an Arch nemesis of Austin Powers would pay. No need to hold the world hostage to afford a large screen TV - which, as you know, every super villain needs to talk into while taking the world hostage.

You now know where how to get one cheap. You will have learned that your spy camera is best protected in an Altoids tin, which will also keep it smelling great. Your PC will be silent and virus free like all of Austin's companions in the 60s, baby. Your music will be shagelicly quadraphonic and Dolby Surround for less than the price of a HiFi magazine. You'll have learned how to host the ultimate video dance party with just the equipment you already own and your mojo, baby. And as any swinger knows, two is always better than one, that's why you learned how to get double the performance with a two-screen PC. And as you also know, all the groovy people are using their computers to record TV, and you've learned how to that here for cheap, baby, cheap.

Every evil genius appreciates a free subscription to the New York Times and you learned how to do it with an e-book here. And no need for clutter as you now own a universal remote that controls not only your TV and stereo, but your computer and Furby too. Well today we will learn how to get that remote to also control your lights.

In fact, you can use any universal remote you'd like. Or even an old converter remote because a converter is what you'll need to do accomplish it. Now let's get one thing straight before we go on - and this is a particularly Canadian thing that I'm sure Mike Myers needed to unlearn before moving to the States.

And here it is: A converter is not the same thing as a remote control. A converter, or cable box as our US neighbours like to call them, is that box that sits on top of the TV. A remote, or remote control if you're being proper, is that thing that you lose between the seat cushions of your couch. Got it?

So the next time someone asks you to pass them the converter, tell them that would be silly and bad for reception. And don't let them get away with "clicker" either, because that's just dumb.

Alright, ready to learn how to operate your lamp across the room with your remote? Got your converter and screwdriver ready? Well put away the screwdriver because you don't need one. And if you can't find a spare converter in your closet, get on down to Value Village with $5 in your pocket and you'll come back with one.

Now follow these instructions closely: Plug your lamp into your converter. That's it. You're done. When you point the remote or universal remote at the converter and press on, the light turns on!

What a bright idea, eh? Press it again and it turns off. Repeat as needed. Of course, it's probably a good idea to place the converter some place near the lamp rather than on top of your TV. That way, you can point at your lamp to turn it on rather than at your TV.

Or if you already have one on your TV, you can plug an extension cord into the converter and plug both the TV and the lamp into it and voila! Now every time you turn on the TV, your lamp will turn on.