JOESIM - Your Virtual Pal

"I think it was an awesome piece of work."
Josh Henry, USA

"'s a lot of fun!"
Daniel Britt, USA

"...just downloaded your ingenious joesim program. I like it."
Markus Fix, Germany

"I recently got joesim for my computer because a friend of mine said it was cool."
Kyle Harlow, USA

"Hi, I had just downloaded my talking Joe. I loved it..."
Roger Chair, USA

"Thanks again for JoeSim, I'm enjoying the heck out of 'messing' with it! I got a real kick out of it."
Joe Mirando, USA

"I liked it very much...your program seems very cool."
Sanchez Moguel Andres Eduardo, Mexico

"Hello I downloaded Joe Sim 99 and I wondered who the heck made this? (o: In a good way :o)"
Mike, USA

"May I say how awesome your game is, sometimes I can be glued to it for hours and all my friends love it too. Thanks for an excellent game."
Dominic Finn, USA

"Who cares!"
Joe Guerra, Canada

You have reached the Official Joe Guerra Simulator Website

Joe, in his finest
The Real Joe Guerra - Photo by Aleks Oniszczak

Latebreaking News:

JoeSim99 goes international! Now, thanks to the help of Professor Lazarus Sanches of the University of Mexico and Laurent Fisz of France, JoeSim99 not only speaks English, but Spanish and French as well! How much would you pay? $5.00? $10.00? Wait, don't answer yet, for a limited time, if you act now, you can download the new verbally enhanced version. That's right - now you can hear what you were missing - Joe actually SPEAKS!!! Now how much would you pay? Put those credit cards away, Joe is Postcardware. That's right, if you like him, all you have to do is send me a postcard. How can I do this? Volume, Volume, Volume! Join the thousands of satisfied JoeSim users today!

What is JoeSim?

JoeSim is your virtual friend. You type something in to Joe, and he will respond with his own particular brand of wit. Joe can hold a conversation better than some of my programming buddies. Joe can be used as a decision maker ("Joe, should I quit my new job?") Joe can pick your lottery numbers. Joe can look up phone numbers. Joe can play mind games. Secretly record what is being typed to Joe by your friends for a real eye-opener. Sometimes you may learn too much! What do you do when your friend's girlfrind types "Should I break up with Tim? Should I tell Tim about what happened last night with Matt?" This actually happened! JoeSim can be dangerous, but hey, sometimes you just have to live a little ;)


Click here to download
Joe - your cyber pal
for the PC.

(97K zipped file)

Joesim for PalmOne devices
Coming Soon

  • Older versions of JoeSim are available at the following sites:
    The Swiss Academic and Research Network
    Technical University of Berlin
    University of Bremen, Germany
    Rapperswil School of Engineering, Switzerland
    Data.Net Communications
    OPUS NETWORX Software Library of Trinidad and Tobago
    America Online
    Netscape (Over 10,000 downloads from this site alone!)


  • A review of JoeSim by John Howard Oxley for the HALIFAX AREA PERSONAL COMPUTER SOCIETY. Here are the parts I like:


    Part One

    by John Howard Oxley

    This time I am actually going to ... review... a typical CD-ROM full of shareware from the Public (software) Library. Every month I receive one of these disks in the mail, with about 1,000 programs and files on it. Many of the programs simply are not of any interest to me... Of all these programs, just over two dozen made it to my hard disk. Here's how they fared: ...

    JoeSim: The price for this appear[s] unbeatable (apparently it is free); it is an Eliza-style simulation of a program which talks to you, although Joe is a bit more taciturn [than] Eliza... -- quite creepy how you get the sense that there is someone "really" interacting with you...

  • The JollyP web site is short and sweet: joesim.uue 75717 Artificial Inteligence Program

  • Nerdworld Lists this web page as one of its links! What an honour! NERDWORD! Anyway, they describe it thusly: Official Joe Guerra Simulator Page - JoeSim Java stuff, JoeSim AI program, Photos and Photoshop, Atari, HP200LX, HCI, Web Page Design

  • Oh dear, my first less than positive review (sob!) from LeClub Internet Access of South Africa. At least they bothered to review it, unlike Logical Solutions who simply copied the review word-for-word from LeClub Internet.

    JOESIM.ZIP Joe Simulator is a crude implementation of an "Eliza"-type artificial intelligence program. You type conversational sentences into the computer and hope to get some sort of relevant and/or entertaining reply. (Aleks Oniszczak) (Reg.Fee: $0) (50668 bytes, published 03-21-95 )

    Crude? CRUDE?! Well, you know, garbage in, garbage out ;)

  • Get JoeSim on CD! A company in Italy is distributing JoeSim on CD-ROM.
    I have no idea what this means, but this is how they describe it:

    Joe Simulator
    E' un simpaticissimo programma che ci consente di dialogare con un immaginario Joe Guerra simulato sul nostro computer. Possiamo proporgli alcune domande e lui rispondera`. Sembrera` in pratica di essere in contatto con qualcuno che abbia una sua personal a` ben definita.
    AUTORE: Aleks Oniszczak
    DATA RELEASE: Marzo '95
    CODICE: DX1524
    file d'origine: JOESIM.ZIP (50 Kb)

    Translation: It is one of the most attractive programs which permits you to engage in a dialogue with an imaginary Joe Guerra simulated on our computer. We were able to propose certain questions and he responds. Seeming in practice to be in contact with someone with a well defined personality.

    Does this mean there will be an Italian JoeSim? Keep watching this spot!

  • OK, here's one from a website called PC ONLINE. Again, I'm not sure what it says (actually, I'm not quite sure what language it's written in - if anyone can translate this, I'd be grateful) but here it is:

    Sharewaretips: Joesim 99
    JoeSim 99 är din virtuella kompis på datorn. Om du vill prata lite med någon ställer garanterat Joe upp. Han klarar av en del enkla samtal och föra vissa diskussioner, men framförallt är han expert på att komma ihåg telefonnummer och annat som man lätt glömmer bort. Ett kul litet program som man lätt kan roa sig med ett tag. Problemet är bara att han blir allt för lik dig efter ett tag.

    Other JoeSim Stuff

  • A German company called Yellow Computing has released JoeSim on a CD featuring software for the HP200LX Palmtop PC. There's also a German version of the Web Page available (but no German Joe, yet). Another German site called Digitalis is also selling it. I'm not sure if it's the same CD or not, but you can also get JoeSim on CD for about half the price of the German sites at Samson Cables.

    Coming Soon - Java Joe!

    Joe will speak and be "live" and online!!! To get a taste of how this will work, type a sentence into the form below, and you will hear what you wrote spoken. Soon JoeSim will intercept what you write and actually speak his response directly to you.

    Text:   (Enter text, choose a voice, then click the SPEAK button.)

    Voice: *

    Note, the above is an alpha online version of Joesim and only responds with 3 or 4 sentences right now.
    The full version is available for download above.

    Joe will be able to look up who gave you that phone number scrawled on that matchbook you found in your pocket.

    e.g. 4165551212

    Hey, did you notice something funny about the background wallpaper?